You rare,unearthly thing.I must have you for my own.
All things must pass, and my stone was no exception. It left fairly painlessly, we headed back home to Los Angeles, and for a few years my kidneys dutifully sorted waste products from my blood without incident.
Then, in 2006…
Denny Crane was bent over Candice Bergen’s desk, in a swirling maelstrom of physical agony.
(NOTE: This is not a passage from some sort of depraved Boston Legal fan fiction one would find on the Internet. Characters I’ve played, for some reason or another, always wind up in the most licentious fantasies of fan fiction authors. For years now, Kirk and Spock have heated up the pages of the fan fiction subgenre as slash fiction, which deals primarily in gay relationships. Neither of us is homosexual, but if I were to dabble, I would surely avoid any encounter with a creature famed for its Vulcan death grip.)
(ADDITIONAL NOTE: I have also been informed that there is more than one webpage out there dedicated to Denny Crane/Alan Shore slash fiction. It must have been all the cigar smoking we did. Either way, the fair-haired dazzlement that is James Spader is a bit more appealing than Spock. Sorry, Leonard.)
(FINAL NOTE: And it has come to my attention that some enterprising web scribes have also published T.J. Hooker slash fiction. I guess I had a way with a nightstick.)
(ADDENDUM TO FINAL NOTE: Please, slash fiction writers, don’t ever write any Twilight Zone “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” stores. (I’d Hate to picture myself making love to a gremlin.)
William Shatner in Shatner Rules: Your Guide to Understanding the Shatnerverse and the World at Large (via uss-awesome)